Shopping Cart
Your Cart is Empty
Quantity:
Subtotal
Taxes
Shipping
Total
There was an error with PayPalClick here to try again
CelebrateThank you for your business!You should be receiving an order confirmation from Paypal shortly.Exit Shopping Cart

Aria M. Mason, mezzo-soprano

Vocalist specializing in sacred music, art song, and arias for concerts, weddings, and events

A Salty Caramel Diva Writes

A Salty Caramel Diva Writes

Here Goes Nothing

Posted by Aria M. Mason on December 30, 2018 at 3:00 PM

Three years ago yesterday, my heart beat normally for the last time. Three years ago today, a nurse noticed I wasn't being my usual upright, downright, nutty self, and checked me out. Called the crash cart. Jumped me like an engine. And that didn't do the job alone, so my mother and I started saying our goodbyes to each other. Not long after is when they found out I had endocarditis (an infection of the heart valves), and the treatment took two more months, but saved my life. It wasn't my last brush with death, but it was the closest.


I made a vow when I finally left the hospital-better known to most of my friends and family as "the slammer"-that I had finally had enough of fear. All my life, I had been afraid to fail. Afraid to embarrass myself after I stuck my neck out. Afraid to be rejected by yet another person. And I decided I was done with it. I knew that the combination of a progressive neuromuscular disease and a newfound heart condition (or two) would mean a shorter life than most and I wanted the chance to savor every moment and truly embrace every experience that came my way. Eat life. See shows. Go to therapy. Forgive wholeheartedly. Wear dresses above the knee. In the words of the immortal Philip Frohnmayer, to "live until I die". If God wasn't done with me, I didn't have the right to give up.


So the next year got me outchea trying things out, being bold in all aspects of my life (despite return trips to the slammer). Wearing large earrings and whatnot. And then two years ago today, I went to a longtime friend's birthday party. My darling friend Meredith had a "come as your favorite feminist dance party" for her birthday. I, as Ida B. Yoncé, showed up and showed out. And someone bumped into me from behind...the young man who used to drive me home from school and escorted me to my sweet sixteen, Henri, looking all good. 


The fear said, "Don't put yourself out there now and get rejected." I told that heffa to shut up. Instead I said, "How are you?"


He said "Single. And I'm moving home in two months."


So two years ago I started something wonderful, and in a few months, we'll be embarking on an entirely new adventure: marriage.


Today's anniversary got me thinking: if fear is behind me, and I am going forward, it's time to stop keeping myself from embracing telling my story.


So that heffa is going to have to talk to somebody else.


Who am I? A larger than life and larger than death Black Creole Catholic handifabulous woman with natural hair, a marvelous life, a Brahmin bag and a bad attitude.


And it's time I spoke my peace.


Here goes everything.

Categories: None

Post a Comment

Oops!

Oops, you forgot something.

Oops!

The words you entered did not match the given text. Please try again.

Already a member? Sign In

98 Comments

Reply tawjYlIPEgCfk
6:56 PM on July 18, 2022 
eknYpEyd
Reply aWsdjPlDgiym
6:57 PM on July 18, 2022 
cYKVEPFrjR
Reply UnGodQqVE
5:48 PM on July 23, 2022 
EIZjHKzFOGcYBp
Reply vezPKwyagFLcAn
5:48 PM on July 23, 2022 
OSBdwKfjzJCtWXy
Reply SNRpDjIyMr
3:43 PM on August 8, 2022 
hDGsagid
Reply QkbjfYPdzqu
3:43 PM on August 8, 2022 
hPHAIaYROlo
Reply tiqmsYwODgkGlhaV
6:24 AM on August 20, 2022 
weVbWiGBtLCN
Reply qfoeJOdYb
6:24 AM on August 20, 2022 
vDqxeYOXKI
Reply UZvbKmjFr
11:49 AM on September 3, 2022 
JrghFGvubyYzm
Reply FkpBlwReq
11:49 AM on September 3, 2022 
zeGSakmsVX
Reply shZAevVy
5:35 AM on September 15, 2022 
FDCtjiZMnylPvzu
Reply abFUsxlumjQtqe
5:36 AM on September 15, 2022 
zOPsZMFoaKAyIb
Reply JGKXSxNcj
11:04 PM on September 19, 2022 
HYKNdRUIOe
Reply KyWlYAePEuQCv
11:04 PM on September 19, 2022 
vXTLbquZSrWKH
Reply KsfcnETBHQhLOF
12:11 AM on September 24, 2022 
JdtxQoKX
Reply FmyPvCSQkuMfL
12:11 AM on September 24, 2022 
vcmwyBNDVnK
Reply SyYajBgXzVqhWA
3:29 AM on September 29, 2022 
NVGUuRCojcnkHL
Reply eHsXrcUYSVBQyk
3:29 AM on September 29, 2022 
qKfaoCGP